You're Not Alone

Hi!

This is the first post of my blog, how exciting!

I know there are a lot of parenting blogs out there so I just want to start by thanking you for taking a look at mine.

I follow a good few bloggers who put a comedy spin on the struggles of parenthood (honestly some make me laugh until I cry) but I wanted to create a blog that was serious.  My son is now two years old and I have spent those two years struggling with the adjustment to being a parent and, as I have now had diagnosed, post-natal depression. I’m at the point of having been recently diagnosed and am about to embark on treatment.

My first thought on being diagnosed was how could I have let this happen?  I normally have it all together.  Such a typically British sentiment isn’t it…keep calm and carry on. All my other Mummy friends seem to have it sorted out and look like they’re actually really enjoying their new role as a parent.  As for me, if I had a time machine, the one piece of advice I would have given pre-Mummy me is DON’T DO IT!  I’m happy to say that after two years I have finally reached a place where that wouldn’t be the first thing I offered.

I sat there in the middle of  my life not understanding what I was doing so wrong.  Why was I having such a different experience to everyone else?  Where was my natural Mothering instinct?  I would hear other Mums talk about how the sound of their baby crying was like a dagger through the heart and they would do anything to soothe their little snookums.  Me?  I wanted to scream and throw him out the window every time he cried. I’ll just clarify here that obviously I never did throw him out of a window but most days would end with me placing him in his crib and then sobbing in the corner of the kitchen. Thank goodness for my husband because I can’t imagine how I would have got through it on my own.

It doesn’t matter where you look, you are led to believe that parenthood is beautiful, magical and bonding is instant.  From celebrity #blessed instagrams to articles about all the ways you’re messing up your children, you are placed in the position of feeling like a failure because these things aren’t reality.  In fact I’d just like to say that it’s all complete bulls***!  The reality is that struggling with parenthood is far more common than you would believe.  When I have opened up to other Mums I have found out that they too have struggled or are still struggling.  We all present a fantasy life to the outside world and perpetuate the myths of parenthood.

Well I say enough is enough!  Those many of us struggling need to be encouraged to talk about it.  We don’t need to feel pressured into acting like nothing is wrong because this is how more serious issues develop.  I wish I’d felt comfortable enough to speak up sooner.

My posts hopefully won’t all be serious but the focus is on trying to get people talking about their struggles in the hope that other parents don’t spend two years working themselves into an overwhelmed state where they need medication and to see a psychiatrist.

One of the defining emotions I felt was loneliness, like I was the only person going through this while everyone else carried on as normal.  This is the inspiration for the title of the blog, You’re Not Alone.  I’ve discovered I’m not alone in my experience and want others to know they’re not alone in this too.

Thanks for reading, hope to see you at my next post!